Although I don’t want to get married, I find the idea of pregnancy and giving birth a pure miracle. However, it is important to differentiate between the idea of children and the idea of pregnancy/giving birth. Children are – put simply – annoying mobile cans of noise-emitting existences. But the process of pregnancy and giving birth is of another realm; miraculous and beautiful.
The notion that from swimming cells comes a breathing and crying soul is mind blowing. The union of two spirits with their almost infinite genes in a coming-from-nothing existence that defines someone new.
I feel if I ever become pregnant, I would be the happiest being in the universe. To become a vessel of the sky and its gods on this land and its angels and demons is an honor beyond all other. To carry within me a life, a soul written up in the clouds by the most talented of deities, a dream come to life. And as my belly expands, within me it grows and dreams; it starts to paint its world and its future. And I am great.
The moment is here. Amidst my greatness I perspire and breathe heavily as it is pushing zealously to run out of me; eager to witness the beauty of the world.
I wish I can give birth by myself without all the doctors and nurses so that I alone enjoy the jubilance of this moment. So that I alone embrace the grace and beauty of this moment; all to myself and its.
Despite the heaving and breathing and sweat, I know it is worth it. I know I might die but from that death a life will be free and I am beyond happy for it.
It looks like excretion but in fact it is one of the most graceful acts in human history. Giving birth. Like the earth as it gives birth to sprouting green and red roses. Like my wet body as it gives birth to it. It is here. You are here.