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I was watching Mangold’s Girl, Interrupted when I thought: what if I end up in a psychiatric ward?

At first my mind drove the idea away quickly. I understand why it did so. It probably found it quite difficult to imagine me in such a ward, even more difficult to find a reason why I would end up there.

But gradually I walked down that possibility. What if I do end up in a psychiatric ward? Is it possible? Yes, anything is. Probable? I’m not sure. But it is possible, which gives me space and time to think about it; about any possibility (and any impossibility for that matter).

You might find the notion strange and unlikely but you never know. Maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow morning and slaughter my entire family. Maybe I’ll set fire to my home. Maybe I’ll finally attend one of the outings my friends organize and instead of ‘have fun’, I shoot ’em all dead right in the head.

The tendency to commit any of the aforementioned acts might seem inconceivable but abnormality may lie dormant within us waiting for the volcanic eruption.

The question is: would committing these acts make me ‘crazy’? In the eyes of the society and psychiatrists, probably. But maybe that’s because these acts are uncommon and rare. But I think if arson and mass murder were more common, their  perpetrators wouldn’t be considered insane. So is insanity measured by statistical occurrences? Or is there an absolute measure for abnormality? Or is everything relative and we’re doomed in this universe of uncertainty?

I don’t know. But I think if I do end up in psychiatric ward, I’d die of all the pills and the isolation and the darkness. Or maybe I won’t. Maybe I’d be friends with all the not-so-crazy people inside who just got in there because of statistics or relativism..

Either way, I wouldn’t mess with Lisa.

Girl, Interrupted Poster

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