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So lately I’ve been struggling with myself and its desires and thoughts and feelings and I found out that transience is literally the core of everything. Mortality aside, everything is transient — states of happiness, moments of revelation, times of depression. And that sucks but is inevitable and therefore pondering it further will only make it worse. But I got a new lamp and I like it.

.~.

It does not matter what you like because it’s hard to decide to leave everything and devote your life to that thing. Unless you like being human.

.~.

WHAT IS SO WRONG ABOUT BEING ALONE? WHY IS ‘BEING WITH SOMEONE’ AT THE ROOT OF EVERY SINGLE THING WE DO? WHY CAN’T I LIVE ALONE WITHOUT ENDLESS DEBATES? WHY CAN’T I GO OUT ON A DATE WITH MYSELF AND NOT BE CONSIDERED CRAZY? WHY CAN’T I DECIDE TO HAVE THE AFTERNOON ALL FOR MYSELF AND WALK AROUND THE CITY ON MY OWN?

But no. Man was created in two: Adam and Eve. NO HE WASN’T YOU MORON. ADAM WAS CREATED FIRST AND ALONE THEN GOD MADE EVE. AND EVEN IF THEY WERE MADE TOGETHER THAT DOESN’T MEAN ADAM CAN’T GO WANDERING OFF ON HIS OWN WITHOUT EVE BEING THE BICKERING BITCH SHE IS.

But no. Man was created with emotional and social needs that will only be fulfilled through interaction with others. NO HE…FUCK YOU.

.~.

Unrequited love is the best. Because there’s a certain transcendental beauty in tragic and unreachable things. Ergo heaven’s beauty and true love’s beauty and truth’s beauty.

.~.

Throughout my study as a med student I realized that God made it REALLY hard for us to die. I mean our bodies are supplied with intricate mechanisms and efficient designs that it’s difficult to understand how disease succeeds. Then again. Bacteria and viruses and even idiopathic pathology is of His own making as well. Long live His Paradox.

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